


you said forever (now i drive alone)

by j_llybean



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: F/M, au where the boys crossed over, dont sue me for emotional damage please bc i'm warning you now, i listened to drivers license by olivia rodrigo and got mega inspired, i'm warning you now this is sad, juke, so this is really really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:28:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28802826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_llybean/pseuds/j_llybean
Summary: the boys crossed over more than a year ago, but julie’s still mourning. she just got her driver’s license, and a memory comes flooding back (i’m not exaggerating when i say i legitimately listened to drivers license on repeat while writing this)this is also on my tumblr, @everyonesannoyedwithme!
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Carlos Molina & Julie Molina, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 16
Kudos: 59





	you said forever (now i drive alone)

**Author's Note:**

> it's kinda short but y'all are gonna have to deal bc inspiration and motivation don't come often and usually not at the same time so this is what you get. that being said please like it i'm really proud of it

Julie wanted to cry. No, not wanted - _needed_. She _needed_ to cry, to show some kind of emotion, to stop bottling it up, but she just couldn’t. She needed to be strong more than she needed to cry, and what would her dad think if he walked in on her in her room, crying? He didn’t know what had happened. No one did but her and Flynn, and Julie had already spent too many hours crying on Flynn’s shoulder.  
It was a good thing, she reminded herself, a good thing that the boys crossed over after the Orpheum performance. They could be at peace now. They were with her mom now.  
But, _God_ , did she want them back. When they left, Alex, Luke, and Reggie had left behind a cosmic ache in her chest, a hole that could never be filled. Alex, with his dry comments and comforting words and dance moves. Reggie, with his honesty and loyalty and joy. And Luke, _oh God_ , Luke. Luke with his passion and his love and his stupid, stupid smile. Some days, Julie missed her boys so much she wanted to just curl up in bed with Flynn and not move.  
Going into her mom’s studio had become a whole new level of hard. Seeing their instruments and clothes on top of her mom’s things? The mere thought of doing that made her want to cry. Julie was strong, but even she couldn’t bear losing four people in less than two years. She had barely known them, time-wise, at least, but she loved them. Julie loved her boys with everything she had, and now they were gone.  
Of course, it’s not like she could show it.  
It’s not like she could just stop playing music again.  
Not that they’d want that, anyway.  
So Julie had kept going. She had gone on with regular life, acting like everything was normal when in actuality, she felt like she had shattered into a thousand pieces.  
She had continued on with her life, and as most teenagers do, Julie had just gotten her driver’s license. The glossy card had a picture of her, wearing Alex’s pink shirt and Reggie’s leather jacket and Luke’s wallet chain. And as the seventeen year old looked at her name printed on the license, she couldn’t help slipping into a memory.

_Julie and Luke sat next to each other on the sidewalk. It was growing dark, the sun disappearing over the tops of the palm trees, and Julie was getting nervous. In a few minutes, Flynn would get there and they’d have to go inside to perform their song, Finally Free, for a café of record execs. Reggie and Alex were already inside, watching the other bands, but Julie couldn’t bring herself to go in and Luke stayed with her._  
_As a car sped past the two of them, a question popped into Julie’s mind._  
_“Did you ever get your driver’s license?” She asked the boy next to her. “While you were alive, I mean.”_  
_“Yeah. Me an’ Reggie got ours on the same day.” Luke responded, a smile on his face as he remembered the day. “Why?”_  
_“Just curious. I’ve had my permit for a couple of months.”_  
_“You like driving?”_  
_“I’m not sure yet. It’s kind of stressful.”_  
_“Yeah, I get that. Alex is the same way with it.”_  
_“Do you?”_  
_“Do I what?”_  
_“Like driving.”_  
_“Oh. Yeah, I love it. My parents could never afford to get me my own car, so I usually drove my dad’s or Bobby’s car.”_  
_“What do you like about it?”_  
_“I dunno. The freedom, mostly, I guess. And you’re stalling, by the way.”_  
_Julie blinked innocently at Luke, finally tearing her gaze away from the road. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She said._  
_“It’s okay, Jules. I got you. Me an’ the boys, we’ve got you. You’re a star, you’ll do great out there.” Luke said, looking as if he wished desperately to be able to reach out to her._  
_“You got me?”_  
_“I got you. Forever.”_  
_Julie smiled slightly at her new band mate, before looking back out at the road and spotting Flynn walking towards her. She hauled herself to her feet, whispering a small “thanks” that Luke just barely caught, and walked over to meet Flynn._

“I got my driver’s license today, Luke. Just like we talked about.” Julie said softly, leaning back onto the headboard of her bed. A tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another one, and another one, until they were flowing freely.  
“I drove through the suburbs, and I pictured I was driving home to you.” She said, hoping he could hear her somehow. “I saw the sidewalks we crossed. I still hear your voice in the traffic.”  
She could still see the boys in her room, poking around in her dream box and looking at all her pictures. She could still hear Reggie’s laugh, still see Alex’s pacing, still feel Luke’s hands on her cheeks that last moment before he left her.  
“Forever, Luke. You said forever.”  
Julie let her head fall to the side as the tears slowed and spotted a familiar notebook next to her dream box. She wiped the last of her tears away, got up off her bed, standing on shaky legs, and got up on her toes to reach it. As Julie walked back to her bed, she opened it, almost scared of what she would see in it.  
The songbook was filled to the brim; songs, poems, and miscellaneous thoughts, lyrics, and melody snippets. Julie’s smile grew every time she came across a Julie and the Phantoms song or Trevor Wilson song, but when she got to the most recent page, her smile fell.  
It wasn’t a full song. It was just a title, melody, and a few lyrics, but she swore her heart stopped when she read what was scrawled across the top of the page in what was unmistakably Luke’s handwriting.  
_My Star._  
It’s what he used to call her. A star. _His star._  
She sat there, holding that journal in shock, for what felt like centuries, before her brother’s voice sliced through her thoughts.  
“Julie!” Carlos called from downstairs.  
“Yeah?” Julie yelled back after a moment.  
“Dinner!” Her little brother responded.  
“Okay! Be there in a sec’!” Julie said before going back to the songbook.  
She looked at that title again, needing to know it was real. Once Julie could confirm she wasn’t seeing what she wanted, she scrambled to read the few lyrics he had written, desperate to feel like he was still there. _“I know we’re not perfect but I’ve never felt this way for no one. And I just can’t imagine how I’ll be okay once I’m gone.”_ Twenty-six words. He had written a measly twenty-six words, but it was more than she needed. Julie fumbled around on her bedside table for a pencil, the lyrics flowing from her like water in a stream. All she had to do was imagine his face, his eyes, his smile, the way he acted with the other boys, and she was filled with inspiration. Julie remembered the looks they shared while performing, the way she felt after he came to visit her at school, the way she felt that night outside the café and soon she had a new song.  
It was a sad song, a heartbroken song, but it was the last song she’d ever write with Luke. _Her_ Luke.  
Even when he was gone they made each other better.


End file.
